The Meanest Post I Will Ever Write

But I feel that it’s justified because I am short.

On what planet is Joff Smith 5’10”?

I know it’s a stretch for me to say I’m 5’3″, when I’m probably 5’2″, but I don’t wear heels, so I figure it’s a wash. 

But, Joff, you look like my brother and you’re about as tall as my brother.  And there’s no way my brother is 5’10”!

Also — I hope that’s a working phone number for Joff.  I am so calling him the next time I watch Zardoz at three in the morning.

(The last is a joke.  I have young children.  I can barely roll out of bed at 6:30am, never mind think that I can be up in the middle of the night and still function.)

(And, yes, I’m just trying to figure out how many times it will take for me to mention my new favorite-movie-of-all-time-excluding-Octopussy before someone who reads this watches it and personally thanks me for introducing it to them.)

6 thoughts on “The Meanest Post I Will Ever Write

  1. Joe says:

    “Actor’s age range:
    21-25, 26-30, 31-35”

    ????

    • Nicole says:

      Well, I guess that’s whatever he could “pass” for.

      Like, a couple of years ago, a lady asked me if I was going to be starting college soon. (At the time, I was, as now, married with two kids.) So I think I could safely coast into the 18-21 range. If only in maturity level.

  2. Sean says:

    If Tom Cruise is listed at 5’7″ and Kiefer Sutherland is listed at 5’9″, then Joff Smith can be 5’10”.

  3. We love Zardoz here in the Snell house. I first saw it years ago and haven’t stopped laughing yet. We own it. Just seeing the disc makes me start giggling again.

    What was Sean Connery thinking? Who did the costume design? WHY WHY WHY?! These are the questions we all ask. It is totally worth seeing, particularly with a group of people (Not good for kids thanks to the weird nekkid stuff).

    Zardoz is one of the best unintentional comedies ever made.

    • Nicole says:

      I think Sean Connery needed the money because no one would hire him after James Bond. I think the hot pants are directly attributable to the fact that Burt Reynolds was going to be in that role before S.C. took over.

      I think the best way to advertise this film is to say, “Have you ever wanted to see Sean Connery in a wedding gown? If so, have I got the movie for you!”

  4. […] [5:22] City Councilor Joff Smith accused of being soul-less, shorter than 5′10″. […]

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