Actual Conversations From My House

Husband: “Albert Southwick doesn’t get many comments on his columns.”
Me: “Sure he does.  He sometimes gets one or two.”
Husband: “I’m sure most of the telegram.commenters don’t even know how to respond to him.”
Me: “He raises the tenor of that website about five hundred percent every time a column appears.”

***

Me: “Did you know that Unum might pay almost a million bucks a year less in taxes for fifteen years if this deal goes through?”
Husband: …
Me: “And they promise 50 more jobs!  Fifty jobs is the magic number in this city!”
Husband: …
Me: “Did you know that Unum needs to sign a lease in order for them to get the $25 million from the state for the Front Street project?  And that they estimated it would take two years to complete?” [see p. 12 of this presentation for more on that]
Husband: “I said years ago that all they need to fund that project is to rent a wrecking ball and charge Worcester residents fifty bucks to hit the mall with the wrecking ball.”
Me: “Just fifty bucks?”

***

Also, since Thanksgiving at Centerfold’s remains one of my more popular posts, I wanted to share the epilogue to that story:

So, we checked out the Buick wagon (my husband only buys Buick Century wagons from model year 1989-1996) and it was lovely.  He went during the day to ask how much they were going to sell it for (because my husband doesn’t pay more than $1200 for a car) and the owner of the lot said that it was his mother-in-law’s and wasn’t really for sale but he’d try to convince her to sell it.

He was never able to convince her to sell it, and my husband still talks about that car.  And I’ve tried to watch far fewer Lifetime movies than I used to.

***

(I share these with you to show that most of the good ideas and funny anecdotes on this blog are actually stolen from the man I married.)

***

Updated, 2:02pm — Not three seconds after I posted, my husband sent me an email telling me to use “fewer” instead of “less.”  He’s told me before that if he’d realized I didn’t know the difference between “less” and “fewer”, that would have been as large an impediment to our marriage as his mortal hatred of Daryl Hall.

Also, he said that station wagon “was the one that got away.”  He even put a frowny face in the email.  Seriously, folks.