I read some of T Jablanski’s remarks about the Holy Cross/neighbor situation on the InCity Times website, and she was kind enough to answer the questions I had for her. I think some of what she says, especially about the power of apology, has been missing in the recent debate about the town/gown relationship. There’s been too much shouting and not enough listening on this topic, and I would love to hear from more neighbors — long-time and student — about this topic, because I think that all people want to be treated with respect, and I don’t think the current debate has done anything to further basic human respect.
How long have you lived in the neighborhood?
Why did you originally move there?
Our son was in the Marine Corps and we didn’t want to sell our home in Auburn until he returned home, but both of us have medical issues that we needed a one level home — so we rented the house in Auburn and bought the house on the hill close to Auburn.
What was the noise level like when you first moved in the neighborhood?
The first year here there were several young men/students renting the house across the street. We knew one of the students personally from church and things were pretty respectful and quiet. Only an occasional party throughout the school year.
If you had issues, how were they addressed?
Myself or my husband spoke to the young men personally.
When did things (noise, behavior, etc.) start to change?
The following year a different group of young men rented the house and the parties were out of control, mobs and mobs of students. I was alone in the house frequently and to be awakened with tens if not a hundred students, singing, screaming, staggering, stopping traffic, urinating against my home, was very frightening to me. The parties were getting bigger and louder.
What was the change (frequency, duration, etc.)?
A different group of students with different values and respect for their neighbors. Parties were on a weekly basis.
When things began to change, how were things handled?
We tried to approach the students and ask them to just move along. We were flipped off and told to get a life.
If you could, is there anything you would change about that?
Yes, I would not try to negotiate with drunks.
What do you think caused the change in noise level, parties, etc.?
For us it was who was renting the house. Last year it was several young ladies who rented the house across the street and there were NO calls to police and perhaps three parties. As a first year resident, I called Holy Cross first, I was told that it was not their problem and they had no authority off campus. I called the local police only to be ignored and when they did come, paddy wagons and all, there was never any print in the paper about the events. No apologies, nothing. It seems that things were being brushed under the carpet. It didn’t seem like the students were being held accountable for their raucous behavior.
Who do you think is responsible for making sure that the neighbors comply with noise ordinances, public drinking laws, etc? Why?
Ordinances and laws are up to the police to enforce. It doesn’t matter whether they (the officers) like them or not. They would certainly give me a ticket or put me in the back of a cruiser and bring me down to the station if they found me staggering on the street at 1:00 a.m.
Do you feel the paid police detail has made a difference on the weekends? If not, what more could be done?
I have mixed feelings about the police detail. I do not want to live in a “police state” of mind. When I have called the police — usually I have already been awakened, so for me it is already too late to FIX anything. Now all I am looking for is some much-needed sleep. Breaking up a party at 11:30 or 1:30 is reactive, not proactive.
What do you think is an acceptable amount of noise/sound in the city?
I just want them to enforce the noise laws that are on the books, I think it is 9:00 p.m.
Can the house across the street really hold 100+ students? Really? Do we need a fire or death to see them enforced? I have on many occasions watched and counted 80, 90, 100 students exit that house and wondered who the parents would blame if their son or daughter lost their life partying at that house? I can’t help but think about the young ladies — they scream, and I of course jump up and look out my window, only to see them staggering away from the house and I think, Will she get home safe? Does she live far? Should I offer her a ride? Where are her friends? Oh my goodness this is emotionally exhausting. Am I really going to just learn to ignore their screaming?
Do you think the demolition of houses on Caro Street will make a difference?
This was a really dumb statement. That would be like the city of Worcester buying up bars to try to curb drinking and driving problems. The problem isn’t the building it is who resides in them.
Ideally, what would you like done with that property and the former Howard Johnson’s lot?
I am going to be completely selfish here and just say that for right now I would like to start with a Dunkin Donuts.
How would you like the neighborhood interaction to go, ideally? How would you like issues between the neighbors to be resolved?
Ideally? Respectfully, kindly and with an attitude of “we’re all living here so let’s do our BEST to get along.”
Many people might wonder why you don’t move out of the neighborhood if things are going badly. What makes you stay?
This is my HOME — I chose this house after looking at other towns and many other homes. I had lived in the city 25 years ago and welcomed the thought of coming back and yet still being close to all of my Auburn responsibilities. The answer is not to run, but to learn to live together, respectfully. Most of the folks can’t afford to move from their homes in this economy and now with all of the negative publicity it certainly isn’t going to help with our home values.
What would it take for trust to be restored between you and the college students?
Between ME and the students. Let’s start with “Hey, I’m sorry — can we work something out?”
Basic common respect. Knock on my door and say, “Hey we are celebrating our finals, homecoming game win, whatever and will be having some friends over, here’s our phone number if you need to call.” Something as simple as escorting your partiers home quietly. Something I would do if my friends had too much to drink at my home.
When I was a kid I remember toilet papering a house really bad with a bunch of friends. We were having so much fun and the thrill of being out late at night and doing something that we KNEW we shouldn’t be doing was just so exciting and to me a bit dangerous. Of course we got caught, but we also got punished. The punishment fit the crime, I apologized, cleaned up, and lost my privilege to go out after school for a week. The punishment didn’t change the excitement I felt but I knew I wouldn’t do it again.
I guess what I am saying is – hey, be students, have fun, learn, party, but don’t keep on with the same disrespectful behaviour and expect folks to put up with it. What is the punishment for constant harassment of your neighbors by your partying?
Now that’s me.
I can assure you it will take a lot more than that for some of my neighbors who have been lied to, pissed on, flipped off, awaken party night after party night, had fences broken and the cost of repairs coming of their pockets, music so loud their windows shake, parking signs ripped from the ground and tossed into yards, puke laden sidewalks, red/blue cups littering their lawns, police ignoring them and Holy Cross denying or minimizing the problem. Instead of blaming people because those chose to stay in the neighborhood they grew up in or bought a house they could afford or just really liked, why not just knock on the door and start with an apology? It might do more good than you think.