Does anyone have Albert Southwick’s ear?

First, if you didn’t read his column about legalized gambling, you should, if only to experience the following quote:

“Colorful” is a term used by newspapers when they want to avoid lawsuits.

Albert Southwick needs to write a column about Dr. John Green, the founder of the Worcester Public Library.

He’s written at least two columns about Samuel Swett Green (here and here), who was John Green’s nephew and a great proponent and innovator of the library.  And, really, if you’re going to have a middle name, Swett is a pretty awesome one to have.

The reason I want Albert Southwick to write about Dr. John Green is that he’s usually portrayed as this kindly looking old dude.  You can find some basic information about him here and here as well.

Walk into the Worcester Public Library’s main branch and look at the two portraits on the left, right before the circulation desk.  The one on the right is Samuel Swett Green.  The one on the left is Dr. John Green.

I am not lying when I say that the guy on the left is a total hunk.  Seriously.  Go there and take a look.  (If you’re not a library-goer, I may even take my camera to the library tomorrow and take a picture of him to prove it to you.)

Now, I’ve read pretty rare books from the library’s closed stacks that were donated by a fund he established, so I’ve always had a special spot in my heart for him.  But when I saw his portrait for the first time (funnily enough, in the Dr. John Green conference room), I was like, “No man who owns 7,000 books has a right to look that good.”  (I look at men who own books in the thousands the way other women look at Brad Pitt and George Clooney.  Alberto Manguel — feel free to call me ANYTIME!)

But I’m also the kind of woman who was reading this column over her husband’s shoulder yesterday morning and said, “If Albert Southwick were 70 years younger, you would have no shot with me.”

So — if anyone knows Albert Southwick — tell him I will pay him to write a column on Dr. John Green.

One thought on “Does anyone have Albert Southwick’s ear?

  1. Tracy says:

    I don’t know Mr. Southwick, but I do know that he reads his mail. It’s worth writing him a letter c/o the T&G.

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